Not a PPV but I'm not creating a new folder for just one review that'd be car-azy.
The 1000 edition of RAW, I'm reviewing two years late as I've only just seen it as it came with Top 100 RAW Moments DVD I bought, hmm if I name the shop will I get free DVDs for advertising? (Editors note - I have since forgotten the shop anyway but I assume it was HMV as I don't think I brought it second hand)
July 2012, St. Louis, Missouri
Vinnie Mac welcomes us to Monday Night RAW or Tuesday Morning RAW if you're a fellow Brit, then brings out DX. HHH/HBK do 'comedy', you know I used to like the DX Army but the 06 and 09 DXs I have no time for and holy shizzle lucky for me HHH asks Shawn if there was more of them which brings out New Age Outlaws and X-Pac in a truck akin to the WCW Invasion. Billy and HBK discuss who should do the 'And if you're not down ....' schtick but neither of them do it in the end as Damian Sandow wanders out like a lamb to the slaughter Sweet Chin Music and Pedigree ends his night.
Sheamus/Rey/Sin Cara Vs. Ziggler/Jericho/Del Rio
JR joins commentary goatee and all. Sheamus is WHC and Ziggler is the holder of the WHC MITB briefcase. Go to commercial straight away and when we're back Sin Cara is being isolated though he turned out that useless I'm surprised it's not a 5-on-1 beatdown. Apparently Jericho is second only to HHH with RAW matches as he has had 360, surprising for me as RAW had been going 6 years before his WWF debut and he had the Two Year hiatus after Summerslam '05. Hot tag to Sheamus who annoys me by not hitting a backbreaker properly so does it again thus drawing attention to the mistake. Ziggler cheapshots Jericho as they had a feud on leaving Jericho easy prey to the Brogue Kick and the 1,2,3. This match given time could've been good, wasted opportunity and JR you may as well of stayed at home son.
We see some Touts, Tout seems to have died a death these days (as akin to dying a life?), possibly because I didn't sign up for it. Charlie Sheen Skypes in, Skype seems to have died ...... Now we go backstage for a AJ and Layla segment which ends with a man in a hand costume as he's Mae Youngs hand all grown up, uhhhhh. No wonder non-fans find it easy to mock wrestling.
Brodus Clay Vs. Jack Swagger
Neat surprise as Brodus reveals his corner man is Duuuuuude Love, I'll have the theme stuck in my head now, Dude is the joke of Micks 3 faces but arguably he had his best match as Dude. Jack Swagger got the jobber entrance which is apropos given that a suplex and splash ends it early, then just to rub it in Jack is hit with a tye-dyed Mandible Claw. (The Love Handle I believe when used as Dude Love)
Backstage now with HHH, Trish which I found a nice call back to the moment in 2000 where he teaches her the hammerlock and Steph walks in only this time DX walks in.
AJ Lee - Daniel Bryan Wedding
Slick is the reverend and Bryan goes all Macho by entering to his theme. When AJ halts the wedding Slicks face made me chuckle it's like what i'd call B-Movie level. Vince McMahon comes out and reveals AJ is the new GM of RAW. Punk comes out to get his head in of course, when Bryan calls himself the greatest of all time Rock comes out, imagine the pop Stone Cold would've got, he says he will challenge for the WWE Title at The Royal Rumble, says Bryan is what would happen if a homeless man banged an oompa-loompa then Rock Bottoms him. I was bored by the end of it all to be honest.
Intercontinental Title - Christian (c) Vs. The Miz
Blow me there's a wrestling match on!! Bret Hart handled introductions. Lawler says his had his one and only Title Shot Vs. Miz on RAW, which is incorrect as he also faced him at Elimination Chamber in a surprisingly solid match given he was facing Miz of all people. Christian is on top but then we go to commercial and when we're back Miz is on top as he's targeting Chrisitans knee, he hurt it on a dive to ringside. They both get 2 counts of DDTs then Christian hurts his knee and Miz strikes with Skull Crushing Finale for the 3 and the title. ( I honestly forgot Christian was IC Champion at this time)
Charlie Sheen Skypes in again, if I remember rightly which is the memorys equivalent of a hit and hope, this was meant to lead to something at SummerSlam.
HHH is here (again) only this time he means business as he wants Lesnar to answer his challenge fort SummerSlam instead he gets Heyman who brings up HHHs kids so of course Steph has to show her face, uhhh. They goad Heyman into accepting on Brocks behalf. Lesnar in da house, he brawls with HHH but Hunter gets the better of him, in case you're wondering Lesnar won at SummerSlam.
Clips of Austin/McMahon complete with talking heads, you'd think WWE didn't have any other feuds bar Austin/McMahon, move on people!
Santino, Hornswoggle bring out some new WWE teddy things, Foley would be proud of this plug.
Heath Slater Vs. _____
In the weeks leading up to this Heath had been facing various legends (or "legends" in some cases), he lost to all bar Doink. He kind of looks like Joey Mercury in a ginger wig, he challenges any legend to a No DQ match, out comes Lita so I guess she's managing the legend we're awaiting Ha....Ha...Ha, Heath calls the time keeper Bell Man which should now be their official name. APA in da house! how long since we've seen APA Bradshaw? Heath backtracks but then all the legends come out that he's faced over the weeks and he ends up losing to Lita. Vader and 'Kishi are among the Legends and I met them in April also there is Animal who I'm meeting in November. (The Animal thang never came about as I didn't go Comic Con in the end but Duggan was probably on RAW and I met him this past April)
Sean Mooney interviews Daniel Bryan who fires back at Charlie Sheen.
Fozzie from the muppets not Jerichos band takes us through various catchphrases from WWEs past, big up the Funaki appearance 'INDEED!'.
Kane Vs. Nobody
Kane comes out but before he does his turnbuckle fire he's interrupted by Jinder Mahal, Camacho, McIntyre, Hunico, Hawkins and Reks he says they haven't been given a chance on the previous 999 episodes, because they've been with WWE since 1993 then they go to beat up Kane but here's .... Undertaker cause you dont diss his brother. Undertaker and Kane casually clean house, man Deadman looked in pain.
Charlie Sheen is back and they hint at SummerSlam having Bryan/Sheen.
WWE Title - CM Punk (c) Vs. John Cena
This is Cenas MITB cash-in, this is also the 53rd title defense in RAW history. Slow dull start. Cena wins a punch off, I hate them as in a real fight you wouldn't hit someone then stand waiting to get hit back. Cena avoids GTS by pushing Punk into the ref then AAs Punk and goes for the pin even though he's just KOd the ref. Big Show's here with a KO Punch to the top of Cenas head but there's no ref to count for Punk. Cena blocks GTS with STFU, uh the guy was out cold 10 seconds ago now he's moving around quick why cant he grasp psychology I just assume he cany be arsed to. Big Show attacks Cena for the DQ finish, so Cena becomes the first guy to fail a cash in but not the first to lose as that would be Damian Sandow last year. Big Show beats up Cena but Punk doesn't help but Rock comes out and beats on Show but wait Punk attacks Rock hitting the GTS and turning heel.
End Scene
