Hell In A Cell 2013

- A night of firsts here, my first live PPV review, first from a pub, first HIAC and first whilst drunk, unless I got really drunk and forgot I did one, would explain why two Canadian Stampedes are MIA. What's on tap you say, well there's Carling, Carls .... oh you mean from HIAC well Orton/Bryan finally get a definite winner, Cena returns, Rhodes Dynasty defend the Tag Titles and some other stuff.  Live from Miami, Florida, that's the PPV not me, it's HELL IN A CELL!

Opening video is people speaking about the Cell, Foley, HBK and Edge were definately there.

WWE Tag Titles - Rhodes Dynasty (c) Vs. The Usos Vs. The Shield
 Smart as this could be a hot opener. Cole says Biog Show is banned from the arena. Rey Mysterio is at the Spanish Announce Table, though it could be any kid under the mask. Goldust, Jimmy slap hands in a mutual face respect way. Shield (Rollins/Reigns) isolate Goldust near the start, DDT to Reigns stops the onslaught but he cant tag out as Shield take out Usos. Goldie is again isolated as Shield are going all Brainbusters tonight. Hot tag to Cody, moonsault on Rollins gets 2. An Uso flapjacks Rollins into a samoan drop for 2. Holy Shit Cody and Rollins are up top whilst everyone else is on outside and Cody superplexes Rollins onto the mon the outside that was immense. Reigns Spears an Uso the other Uso Superkicks Reigns. Cross Rhodes top Rollins gets 3, the Champions retain. **** - Great, hot opener here, smart booking/placement as the fans are now pumped up. Matches like this give me hope for the Tag Divison.   

HHH and HBK are talking backstage, in a bizarro version of Judgment Day 2000 (Though thankfully HHH isn't wearing HBKs JD 2000 shorts) and also Cena has a new app out which looks like Need For Speed.

Miz is in-ring he calls out Wyatts and here's Brays brothers/homies whatever but Kane returns to make the save, then as even Kane cant stand Miz he chokeslams him aswell. Imagine a Kane/Miz tag team in the mold of X-Pac/Kane. (Which was the Show-Miz team)

2K14 advert plays, this is the first I've heard of it.

Fandango/Summer Rae Vs. Khali/Natalya
 Barman asked who I thought will win this match, I gave a drunken nod towards Fandango and he seemed to think I was stupid, well ha! Fandango won. Khalis spped, well lack of, is immense he is the Bizarro Usain Bolt man. Match was basically nothing, mini pop from me when Natalya went all Kerry Von Erich with a discus punch. I missed the ending but via a replay I can tell you Summer got 3 off a roll up. *1/2 - Meh. My pub notes say - 'Women carried it, if don't agree blame the beer' well I don't agree and I blame the beer, schizo argument!

Josh Matthews, Dolph Ziggler, R-Truth and Kaitlyn or as I saw them - Robbie Savage, Booker-T, Ashley Tisdale and some annoying guy, talk about the PPV so far. It was like ESPN/Sportscenter.

US Title - Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Big E. Langston
 If this was the attitude era Langstons first name would be Will. Langston starts better and gets some quick 2s. Dean is getting a foot in the match now. Ambrose Recliner is applied but Big E. stands up and breaks it. E misses a Warrior style splash but gets 2 off a belly to belly, Big Es been cut. Dean walks off but E brings him back. Big E. spears Dean through the ropes ala Edge at 'Mania 22. Dean is counted out, booo. ** - Okay match, bad ending. I picture Big E. going on a title chase now, ending at TLC maybe.

There's a pop in the pub as the cell is lowered.

Hell In A Cell - CM Punk Vs. Ryback/Heyman
 Heyman enters on a cart, the driver may be drunk, Paul is lifted onto the Cell roof leaving Punk/Ryback one-on-one. Heyman is starting the match like Mankind but will his end the same way? 'Goldberg' chant, because that's not old. Punk is on top until he misses kendo shots and is rammed into the Cell. Punk is suplexed into the Cell three times as Ryback is on top. Ryback powerslams a springoarding Punk for 2, he goes for Shell Shocked but Punk avoids it. Kendo shots by Punk then an elbow from the top gets 2. At certain angles Ryback looks like Goldberg. Punk elbows Ryback through a table then a GTS gets 3. Post match Punk goes to the roof and batters Heyman with a kendo stick and GTSs him, that should draw a line under the feud. **1/2 - Match was meh, PPVs gone down since the opener. If the Punk/Heyman stuff continues then the post match stuff was pointless, but this being WWE i'm not sure what'll happen. What can Punk move onto from here? (He moved onto the unemployment line *cymbal clash* though fair dos for doing what he wants to do)

D-Bry is interviewed.

Los Matadores (w/ some bull) vs. Real Americans (w/ someone speaking bull)
 I heard 'Ole' and thought it was El Generico, I saw them and thought woah double Tito Santana then I saw the bull and thought Manatour! Real Americans, though one's European. Zeb does his usual right wing schtick. Matador 1 does Flair Flip, now he's being isolated. Cesaro rolls through a sunset flip and does 31 Giant Swings! Swagger Ankle Locks a Matador but it gets broken and when I next look up the match is over, Matadors win and it looked like a Double Team on Swagger. ** - Giant Swing alone earns it *. 

World Heavyweight Title - Alberto Del Rio (c) Vs. John Cena
 Cena had triceps surgery was meant to be out around 6 months but he's back within 2 and gets a Title Shot for nothing. They have a ready made story with the Cross Arm Breaker but it depends on Cena selling it, which is debatable (Really?). Champion out first irritates me. Slow start, bulldog gets Cena 2. STFU is avoided and a german gets Del Rio 2, I think he meant to bridge it but failed. Sandow is watching backstage. ADR comes off top but is dropkicked. Cena fights back with his usual offence but Del Rio avoids AA with a backcracker. Tornado DDT gets Cena 2. ADR gets 2 when he enziguris Cena up top. Cena rolls through a Cross Arm Breaker and applies STFU but Del Rio gets a rope break. Cross Arm Breaker is applied but of course Cena stands up and breaks it with a slam, AA gets 3. **1/2 - Loses a 1/2 due to Cena standing up in the CAB, I hated that. A bit better than I was thinking it'd be to be fair.

Survivor Series promo plays, it's the Wyatts.

Divas Title - AJ Lee (c) (w/ Tamina) Vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki)
 Annoying Bellas are face due to their relationships I guess. Nothing match really, it ends when Brie runs into Nikki and falls prey to the Black Widow, see what I did there albeit unintentionally. *1/2 - Match was a buffer really, as were quite a few I guess. Get fans calmed down for the main event.

PTP are playing a game called 2K14, no I've never heard of that one, Bob backlund dances with them, yes that happened and yes I loved it. Whacky Bob!

HHH and HBK are chatting again, who's conversations last for 2 hours in the same place?

Hell In A Cell - Special Ref - Shawn Michaels - Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton
 Will the Corporate Commissioner be reborn? Triple-H brings the belt out, D-Bry refuses HHHs hand shake. Early snap powerslam by Orton. D-Bry is knocked into the Cell then Orton follows up with ring steps shots. Back in Bryan hits kicks then dropkicks Orton to the outside and hits a suicide dive. Orton crotches Bryan around the ringpost then hits his Backbreaker variation. European uppercuts are traded in the ring, D-Bry is building momentum. Orton is hurricanraned off the top, divind headbutt gets 2. Orton gets a rope break to avoid a Yes Lock. Bryan tosses 10 chairs into the ring but it backfires as Orton superplexes him onto them for 2. HHH is here and exchanges wwords with HBK. Special Ref Bump! as Orton is pushed into HBK to avoid an RKO. HHH is in the Cell and checking on HHH when BOOM! Bryan hits a running knee but HBK Sweet Chin Musics Bryan and reluctantly counts 3 for Orton. Why Super Kick someone then not want to count them down? HBK isn;t with HHH/Orton though so no Corporate Commissioner role for HBK. ***1/2 - Match was pretty good, ending wasn't. Were they protecting Bryan or cutting his legs out from under him? There cant be much mileage in Orton/Bryan now so Bryan either needs to win or he's a babyface that failed in his quest. I suspect we'll get Bryan/HHH next. (We got fan outrage next and Bryan winning the straps at 'Mania)

19.5 / 40 - Bang on .500 and that seems right as one great match and one very good. Rest was meh to good but nothing was actively bad. Americans had to pay $60 or so I guess but in UK it was £15.00. Not a bad PPV but not a blow away one either call it a thumbs in the middle. (In retrospect I would say thumbs on their way down as nothing between opener and main were noteworthy and the ending at the time was groan inducing also I've knocked a point off so bang in the middle no longer makes sense however I do not delete my words of wisdom.)